posted: Jul 16, 2019.
By Terri Cabral
We often think of a person being authentic or not.
Maybe we should move away from that idea and think of it as a practice, authenticity is something that we either practice or we don’t. It’s a choice, it’s something that we can cultivate, and it’s not inherited as the author Brene Brown explains it. The heart of authenticity is the courage to be vulnerable, I know that you are thinking that it doesn’t sound like a lot of fun and it doesn’t even feel good most of the time. But don’t we most connect and help others, when we are vulnerable? We are more alike that we are different. When we truly share our joys and disappointments, we connect heart to heart and have an opportunity to make a difference. We listen to one another, have compassion, cry or laugh and build relationships. We start to understand that we are never alone and deep within us, we do have the answers are always guided and supported. Everyone is unique in their own way, we are all needed and we all make a difference in this big beautiful world.
We live in a culture where people think that vulnerability is considered a weakness and we wonder why society believes that some men might not be as sensitive or emotional. In past generations males learned this very young. They were often told to toughen up or they would be labeled as being weak, in other words don’t be vulnerable. At the core of this vulnerability there’s emotions of shame, fear and insecurities but also at the heart of it, it can bring joy, love, creativity, belonging inspiration, beautiful relationships and much fulfillment. It’s important to be open, when we practice authenticity, we are opening to an incredible way to live.
I believe that Authenticity is being true to yourself when you have the courage and this is not always easy. Our paradigms (beliefs) remind us of how we were ridiculed before or didn’t have the confidence to stand up for what we believed in, etc. The stories in our head that keep reminding us of the past at times prevent us from living authentically. The good news is that our past does not equal our future and therefore we can keep striving to be the person that we were meant to be, as authentic as possible.
When you are following someone else’s wish for you, you are not being true to yourself and often feel disharmony. People pleasers know this too well, even though it doesn’t always feel good to them, they continue to do it because if they do, maybe, and I say maybe they will get validation from the other person or feel needed.
Everyone has an important role to play in this life it’s unique to you. We might feel that role as children but as we grow into adulthood we are taught to cover up our emotions, stop playing, take on responsibility and on and on, so some of us forget who we really are. When we stop playing we stifle creativity and connection to our soul.
The question that we should practice is:
What really brings me joy, who am at my core? Are you Authentic and how often do you practice it? It’s not what you do, it’s who you are. But the creativity and purpose are part of your truth and it will give you a more meaningful life. Don’t tweak your values or integrity to fit somewhere, your core will always let you feel it. Your value system describes the type of person that you are, always follow that.
Authenticity has become a moral and spiritual desire as we search to know ourselves better. When we become more authentic, we are more likely to enjoy healthier, more meaningful relationships and become a happier person.